Can votives.

These are great for those barbecue parties that run a little late — you’ve watched the sun set, and you’re fumbling around for the s’more fixings. And they’re using something you’d recycle anyway.

Save your cans from tomatoes and beans for a month. After you’ve removed the labels and washed each one, fill with water and freeze.

The next day, use an awl or a hole punch or a screwdriver and punch holes in a decorative pattern in each frozen, filled can. Be generous with the holes, you want as much light as possible to shine through.

Let the ice melt.
(I set the can in my herb garden so it waters it for me.)

Put a tea light or small candle in each can.

Voila! A home made candle holder good for the outside this summer.

I’ve also spray painted the cans to make them look a little more classy, but quite frankly, it’s a garbanzo bean can with holes punched in it, it’s supposed to be a little rustic.

Other summertime, okay-for-outside-candle is the Celebrity Saint Votive:

Take those largish, plain 7 day votives (that you can get at the grocery store in the Mexican food section) and paste a photo or US Weekly photo collage of your favorite celebrity (or the one that most needs your good vibes) on the outside of the candle in the manner of a saint.

(As you may or may not tell by the drawing, I’ve done post-Meyer-breakup Jessica Simpson.)

You could do also put these candles out for place holders around your picnic table for an outdoor party, where each guest could be Lindsay, Brandon or Paris. Determining which guest is which celebrity could be half the fun.

(Also, please don’t burn anything down. These are candle crafts for grownups — not wee’uns.)

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Summertime platters

You don’t want something made of tacky Walmart plastic.
You don’t want something made of metal.
You don’t want something formal.

You want something light and classy and inexpensive and stylish.

Summmer platters that serve us well:

Cb2 offers these fairly inexpensive shallow, ceramic, oblong serving trays that are big enough for big parties and small enough for a dinner on the veranda. We own two of the largest and two of the mediums and love them to pieces.
(Veranda! I said VERANDA!)

This bamboo tray from Pearl River makes a few choice appetizers look like you’ve worked on them all day — even if it’s an apple with peanut butter on it. Plus it won’t break on the way out to the lanai.*
(Lanai! I said LANAI!)
*Thanks Alison for the gentle correction!

My final favorite are the real life cafeteria trays from our youth. Food friendly, kitchy and utterly indestructable, guests can pile up their food and take it to their seat. It’s a great alternative when your kitchen table isn’t big enough to serve all the folks lined up for your delicious cooking.

Veranda and lanai* were pretty much my only two fancy porch synonyms.
If you have any more, I’ll send you the best vibes.

*Again, thanks Alison.

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Barbecue pork on a bun

The fun part about this recipe is feeling like a kid as you take EVERY SINGLE CONDIMENT out of your fridge and pantry and throw it in a pan.

It’s like making mud soup, but more fun because you can eat it. As you throw ketchup, mustard and Worcestershire sauce all into one giant pan, you laugh and laugh while saying, there’s no freaking way this is going to taste good.

But it does.

It tastes so good that your bocce team will eat it from under your nose, leaving you with but a fingerful of sauce, and that fingerful of sauce will be so tasty, so not tasting like you tossed every condiment in your fridge into the crock pot that you’ll make it again, just for you.

1 cup ketchup
1/4 cup chili sauce
1/4 cup Dijon mustard
1/4 cup cider vinegar
1/4 cup honey
3 tablespoons Worcestershire
1 tablespoon soy sauce
1 teaspoon chili flakes
4 cloves garlic, minced
1 3ish pound boneless pork butt, trimmed
1 cup water

For serving:
Kaiser rolls
Chopped red onions
Coleslaw
Potato Chips

Combine ketchup, chili sauce, mustard, cider vinegar, honey, Worcestershire, soy sauce, red pepper flakes and garlic in a saucepan. Bring to a boil, then reduce heat to low and simmer for about five minutes. Let cool to room temperature.

Put the butt (heh) in a large plastic bag. Pour the sauce over the meat, seal it up and marinate overnight in the refrigerator. Turn the bag over when it occurs to you.

Remove the pork from the marinade and put in the slow cooker. Pour the marinade into a small bowl, add the water and mix well. Pour over the pork. Cover and cook on low for around 8-10 hours, or while you are at work. Transfer the pork to a platter, tent with aluminum foil and let stand for around 10 minutes before it’s time to dig in.

I like to toast my bun and put coleslaw on the pork.
James likes his with mayonnaise.
We both like this pork with potato chips.

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Wine Pairing

I forgot to tell you about one of the projects I worked on this year — that might come in handy for your online party planning.

It’s a text-messaging wine pairing tool.

Text your food to #411511 and you’ll get a text message back that pairs wines from my company’s portfolio with your food. The results are most likely easy to find, even available in your grocery store.

My brilliant co-workers devised a very clever pairing matrix, first referencing flavor and then protein — and an 80% word match algorithm. Then, if it STILL isn’t in the database, an actual wine expert goes in and manually pairs the food with wines for the next time someone enters that food. The more we use it, the bigger and more accurate it gets.

It’s awesome.
And could help you plan your next party.

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Potluck of Self

I’m so lucky to be around people who also appreciate amazing food and wine and sportsmanship.

Did you know that our bocce team had a food theme every week?
Each week we pick a theme like “Italian Honeymoon” or “Foods You Can Eat With One Hand” or “Old Family Meals” and try to outwit each other with our presentation.

This week’s theme was “Foods that represent your personality” and it resulted in chuckles abound.

So what did everyone bring?
Natalie: A salty, buttery cherry tart. Because her dad grows cherries and she’s awesome.

Kevs: Pecorino cheese with aged honey and french bread, because he’s salty, sweet and a little yeasty. I kid about the yeasty part! He had a much cleverer reasoning behind his tasty treats than I did.

Adam: Olives and beer. Because he was lazy (his comment, not mine, I happen to think Adam is very hardworking.)

Tom: Dry rubbed ribs, because he’s complex yet everyone loves him.

J. Kendall: Spicy bean dip, because he’s spicy and full of potential gas.

Malcolm: Guacamole, because he was wearing a green shirt, and he goes well with anyone.

James: Sushi, because he’s meticulous, clean and good looking.

Helen Jane: the bocce skewers below, because they’re creative, useful and fun to eat (ahem).

So you’ll now have a leg up on your guests when you ask them to your next potluck because I’m asking you…

What food represents your personality?

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Friend Appreciation Day

(I know this isn’t a warm weather entertaining tip, but that will come.)

I just wanted to say that over the past few years my professional life has been with a significant number of people who didn’t think I did enough for them and didn’t think I was enough for them. This is a tough industry to be inside.

The past month, I’ve been surrounded by folks outside of that who think I am enough, and that I do enough and they encourage me to grow.

And it’s made all the difference.

So thanks, thanks, thanks to all of you who say,
“Helen Jane, you are enough and let’s grow together.”

Because it’s quite seriously changed my life.

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Smoked Salmon Spirals

These are from Ann Hodgman’s book Beat That! which changed the way I thought of food forever. Before this cookbook, all I knew of cookbooks had was the useful but slightly dry Joy of Cooking, or The Settlement Cookbook, or Weight Watchers recipe cards for mock-a-mole (faints).

1 pound cream cheese, room temperature
Juice and grated rind from 1/2 lemon
3 minced green onions — including about 3 inches of green
3 tablespoons minced fresh dill, plus more for garnish
2 teaspoons sweet paprika
8 large flour tortillas, 10 inches in diameter
2 tablespoons drained capers
1 pound smoked salmon, thinly sliced

Beat together the cream cheese, lemon juice and rind, green onions, dill and paprika. You can use a hand mixer, a stand mixer or your own mighty muscles. After these are blended, stir in the capers.

Spread each tortilla with one eighth of the cream cheese mixture, leaving a 1/4 inch margin. Cover the cream cheese with slices of salmon.

Roll the tortillas tightly, pressing down hard as you roll. Wrap each rolled tortilla in plastic wrap, good and tight. Chill at least 3 hours, no longer than 12 (the tortillas get crunchy and the salmon gets weepy.)

To serve, slice the rolls 1/2 inch thick. Arrange each slice on a serving dish and garnish with a wee dill sprig.

These are perfect to bring to those warm weather late brunches. They fit the gap between breakfast and lunch and look more elegant than the tortilla roll styling would imply. As Ann says herself, “Whenever I serve these spirals, people bolt them down without even chewing, like seals catching fish.”

And I must concur.

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Helen Jane’s White Sangria Recipe

4 peeled and sliced kiwis
1 bag frozen sliced peaches
1 container of strawberries, sliced thin
1/4 cup sugar
1/2 cup white rum
1/4 cup Grand Marnier
2 cups white grape juice
1.5 L Pinot Grigio or Sauvignon Blanc
Lots of ice

Throw all the fruit in bottom of a large pitcher or punch bowl and sprinkle with 2 tablespoons of sugar. Pour 1/2 cup white rum on top of the fruit and let it sit for about an hour. Pour the big bottle of white wine in there with about 2 cups of white grape juice. Add more sugar if you need it.

Stir, add ice cubes and chill.

Folks will ask you for the recipe.
And lo, you’ll have one to share.

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Summertime happy hours

I’m falling behind a bit on these — the video ain’t quite yet done and I’m a day back — but I know you forgive me. There’s so much work being done lately, and it’s really very exciting. Also, it looks like I’ll be attending BlogHer again this year and really, that’s the best news I ever heard.
(Besides the fact that my 10 year college reunion AND my bridesmaid’s wedding are that same weekend.
Oooh! It’s going to be a rip-roaring good time!)

Okay, here are all the warm weather happy hours we’ve either thrown or want to throw. Feel free to plunder the list.

Tacobar.
Well duh.

Dip and Punch.
My roommate in DC and I threw a Dip and Punch party where everyone brought either a dip or a punch. We served a house punch and extra dippy foods and the whole thing was a hoot.

After work Sapporo and make your own sushi party.
James and I took a sushi class at our local community college and our lives have been forever altered. Add to that a great relationship with our fish monger (hi Osprey Seafood!) and you’ve got yourself a killer DIY happy hour.

Chili feed.
Some nice cool beer and root beer, pick up some cornbread at the store and keep a crockpot of chili bubbling away while you’re at work. Have friends pop over on their way home for a nosh and a toast and you’ll be the hit of the block. Don’t forget the green onions and shredded cheddar!

Summertime blues.
Get yourself some stinky blue cheeses, some Sauternes and some great blues music and you’re all set up to throw one of the more memorable happy hours the world has ever seen.

Aperitif Mischief. (Pronounced MisCHEEF.)
So many aperitifs in the world, so little we know about them. Marinate some olives and beans while you’re at work. Fire up your panini grill and invite folks over to try some of these lesser known (and lesser alcohol) cocktails.
Lillet on the rocks with the traditional orange slice! Campari and soda water! Pastis! Try them all!

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Party Idea

Although we haven’t gone to it yet, coming up this summer, we’ve been invited to an awesome party.
It’s a performance party.

Everyone has to perform a thing.

Memorize a poem and perform it, sing a song, play your guitar, just perform!
James and I have been working on our songs for weeks.

I can’t wait to do this.
(I’ll post pictures when it’s done.)

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HJ Burgers

This has been posted in the rarely updated Chow section for years, but it was important to bubble up to the home page. I actually got the job at Sutter Home because I included this in my portfolio.

Tonight for dinner, we ate burgers made just from regular hamburger and although he wouldn’t say anything, I could tell James was kind of bummed. Double the recipe and freeze them and you won’t have to disappoint your partner in the hamburger department ever again.

1 pound good ground beef
(good means you’ve ground it yourself or you’ve bought some sort of trustworthy organic beef from your butcher. I mean it.)
4 Italian sausage links.
(hot, mild, whatever you feel like dangling from your neck)
1 piece of dry/oldish bread
1 beaten egg
2 tsp garlic salt
2 tsp pepper
1 stick butter
6 Kaiser rolls
Hamburger fixins

Equipment
Blender/food processor
Two clean hands

Put one piece of slightly dry bread into the food processor or blender. Grind that piece up until it’s screaming for mercy.
It should render about 1/4 cup of bread crumbs.

Liberate the sausage from its linky goodness by slicing down one side of the sausage and scooping out the ground pork within.

Slap the hamburger down on the cutting board.
Slap the pork sausage onto the hamburger.
Sprinkle with bread crumbs.
Sprinkle the bread crumbs with the garlic salt and pepper.
Pour about a half of the egg mixture on top and get to mushing.

While mushing the hamburger, sing this Mushy song.

“Mush, mush mush.
Mush mush mush.
About this burger they will gush.
Mush mush mush.

“Mush, mush mush.
Mush mush mush.
On this burger they will crush.
Mush mush mush.

“Mush, mush mush.
Mush mush mush.
So damn tasty I could blush.
Mush mush mush.”

Then scoop the burger into snowball sized balls.

Now comes the part you absolutely cannot tell your friends about or they will be grossed out and not eat the delicious burgers.

Put a pat of butter in the middle of each snowball. Now flatten them into burger patty shapes and wrap up to chill in the refrigerator until you’re ready to grill.

I can’t offer much in the way of grilling suggestions, as that’s the husband’s department, but these are–if it’s even possible–even tastier with cheese.

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Taco Bar!

Do you want to have people over but the kitchen is hot and you don’t feel like sweating in your guests’ dishes?

Yeah, I know that feeling.
That’s when I think Taco Bar.

Corn Tortillas
Grilled Shrimp
Grilled Flank Steak
1 container red salsa
1 container mango salsa
1/2 bunch cilantro
4 green onions chopped
2 tomatoes chopped
4 avocados, diced into 1/2 inch pieces
Shredded Monterey Jack cheese
Lime Wedges

Corona
Margaritas

Avocado Tomato Salad or Corn salad

Fry the corn tortillas.

Grill the steak and shrimp.
Squirt both with lime.

Put each and every one of those fixins in their own dish and put one spoon in each one.

When you throw a taco bar for someone, you show them that you love them.

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Party in the car.

In the summertime, in one largish Rubbermaid container, this is what we keep in our trunk:
1 blanket
1 container sunscreen
1 citronella candle in a spillproof container
1 flashlight
1 set of bocce balls*
1 corkscrew/bottle opener
4 wine glasses
1 roll paper towels
1 Snoop Dogg cd
2 collapsible chairs

And really, with that, you’re golden anywhere.

*Also counts:
Volleyball net and ball
Kickball
Pickleball set
Badminton set

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Fizzy Lifting Drink Recipe.

Hello, I invented this drink when the weather got warm and
there were children coming over to our home and
I was afraid the only non alcoholic beverages in our home were coffee and margarita mix.
(Can you feed children Midori?)

My fears were unfounded, this was the most popular drink of the day for the grownups and the little ones.

Ingredients:
1 can lemonade concentrate
2 of the empty cans of concentrate filled with club soda
1 of the empty cans of concentrate filled with ginger ale
1 lemon’s worth of lemon slices
1/4 cup sugar
1 1-gallon ziploc-type bag of ice that has been smashed a few times with a mallet
straws

Slice the lemon into round slices that are drink slice sized.
Sprinkle both sides with sugar.

Gently stir the concentrate, club soda and ginger ale together in a pitcher.
Add smashed ice

Add the sugared lemon slices to the glasses and pour the lemonade concentrate mixture into the glasses.

Serve with straws.
Because things taste better with straws.

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Food with one hand

I know, I shared this already, but it fits with the theme and we have a long summer of entertaining ahead of us.

Skewer cherry tomatoes, basil, tiny mozzarella balls and croutons* and arrange them as if they were flowers in a vase. I used white beans to hold ‘em down.

I’ve yet to find leftovers of these.

Make sure you have a place to put the skewers or you’ll find them all over the place.
(Like in your plants and your car and your couch cushions … ahem…)

*I make my croutons by chopping bread into cubes and pan frying them. I sprinkle the bread cubes with a mixture of garlic salt, thyme and pepper. I melt a mixture of olive oil and butter in the pan together and then toss the seasoned bread cubes with the oil, keeping a close eye on them when they become toasty. When they’re still hot, I grate Parmesan cheese over them to, you know, be obnoxious with deliciousness.

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Hors d’oeuvres tips

One of the great things about living in the Napa Valley is that the local cooking class teachers are all fancy CIA instructors or fancy executive chefs. Last November, I enrolled in a holiday hors d’oeuvres class at the local colleg. It was taught by master chef Adam Busby from the Culinary Institute of America, the super fancy one.

He gave several tips in the class that work equally well for summertime entertaining:

The Strategy

Plan if you’ll need special containers, boxes or picks. Purchase those well ahead of time.

Make 2 shopping lists, 1 for perishables, one for non-perishables.

Label each platter with post-its ahead of time.

Make a cooking timetable, listing stages of preparation and finishing, work backward from the time you need all food completed.

Cook ahead as much as possible, giving yourself as little to do as possible to finish each recipe.

Get help if you need it! No acts of heroism!

The Presentation

Odd numbers look better than even numbers.

Keep one type of hors d’oeuvre to each platter. Too many is confusing.

Keep platters neat and don’t overcrowd.*

Keep garnishes simple.

Make sure you have a place for your guests to put bones, shells, picks and boxes.

Have more napkins on hand than you think you’ll need.

* This is the number one tip for getting your friends to eat all of your tasty snacks. I can’t tell you how many platters of food didn’t get emptied, simply because there was too much food on it for people to feel comfortable picking up without touching the other food.

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Tomato Avocado Salad

This salad goes with simply seared chicken breasts, with grilled shrimp, with quesadillas, with air. Her highness Martha Stewart introduced me to this combination, and for this I owe her greatly.

2 tomatoes, seeded and cut into sixths
2 avocados, sliced long
1/4 sweet onion, sliced into thin, thin, strips

Juice of 1 lime
2 T olive oil

Sea salt and pepper

Toss them all together and weep for all its simplicity.
Yep. That’s it.

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Corn salad

Corn salad is great because when you’re running out the door to a party and remember that you forgot to make something because it’s a potluck, and you’ve known about this potluck, but somehow you forgot and you don’t have money to run to the store and you feel a little freaked out, well, you can put this together in roughly five minutes.

You can make it with odds and ends of things in your refrigerator. You could also make it with the fresh corn, doing that slicing and blanching thing, but because I tend to be lazy, I use the frozen.

When you have five minutes before the potluck, do you really want to be messing around with chopping kernels off of a corn cob?
Really?

Ingredients

1 bag frozen corn
1 red pepper, diced
1 orange pepper, diced
1/2 red onion, diced
4 stalks green onions, chopped
1/2 bunch cilantro leaves, chopped
3 T red wine vinegar
1/4 cup canola oil
1 clove garlic, minced
1 tsp salt
1/8 tsp cayenne pepper

Directions

Open the bag of corn and dump into a colander. Run some water over the corn until it’s not so frozen.

Mix the corn with all the chopped vegetables.

In a spillproof container, (such as an empty, clean spaghetti jar or plastic container with a lid) dump the red wine vinegar, oil, garlic, salt and cayenne. Close the lid and shake furiously.

Drizzle the dressing over the corn and vegetables.

Additionals

Add a rinsed can of black beans and serve in adorable lettuce bundles.

Add chopped avocado to make the ladies say “Yeah boy!”

Add crumbled queso fresco to the sounds of cheers.

(And you’ll be in time for the party.)

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Barefoot Guacamole

This is the go-to guacamole recipe in our house.
It’s straight out of the Barefoot Contessa cookbook with one addition, cilantro.

(I’ve gathered that Ina hates cilantro — but lo, she is missing out.)

Along with Kung Pow(!) Chicken and sushi, this is one of James’ specialties.

4 ripe Haas avocados
1/2 lemon’s worth of fresh lemon juice
8 dashes Tabasco sauce
1/2 cup tiny chopped red onion
1 large garlic clove, minced
1 teaspoon kosher salt
1 teaspoon freshly ground pepper
1 medium tomato, seeded and finely chopped
1/2 cup finely chopped cilantro.

Halve and pit the avocados, do that slicing thing in the skin and then scoop the wee diced pieces into a bowl. Add the lemon juice, Tabasco, onion, garlic and salt and pepper; toss all together with a spoon.

Add the tomatoes and cilantro and toss to combine. Adjust the seasonings as needed.

And stand back as people try not to elbow each other.

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Bellini Bar

So you want to have a kicky, clever sort of serve yourself drink party?

(Why yes, actually, I’d like one right now.)

You should have yourself a Bellini Bar!

Brought to me by my friend, the talented Chef Jeffrey Lawton, a Bellini Bar blends fruit puree, Prosecco and a whole lot of fun. Historically, Bellinis are made with white peach puree and Prosecco. But I say kicky’s the word of the day, and kicky our clever sort of serve yourself drink party shall be!

Some of the fruits you can use

1 bag frozen mango – defrosted

1 bag frozen peaches – defrosted

1 bag frozen raspberries – defrosted

1 bag frozen strawberries – defrosted

Per bag of fruit, you’ll also need

1/2 lemon

1/2 cup simple syrup

Per bag of puree, have one bottle of Prosecco on hand. I also like to serve club soda for those who’d prefer the alcohol-free route.

Get out your blender!
On high, blend 1 bag unfrozen fruit, juice of the half of one lemon and give or take 1/2 cup simple syrup.
Put the puree into a stylish pouring or spooning container, rinse out the blender and do it again with the next kind of fruit.

To Serve:

Pour/spoon 1/3 glass full of fruit puree.

Pour 2/3 glass full of Prosecco or sparkling wine.

Toast your friends.

Give thanks for friendship and the spirit of the kicky.

Bellini. Bellini. Bellini Bar.

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Oilcloth tablecloth

I built the ratty old picnic table in our backyard from a kit seven years ago. It’s ten feet long and can fit up to twelve people outside quite comfortably and I love it. We’ve frequently touched it up with paint, but the dear piece of furniture has definitely seen better days.

Enter oilcloth.

I bought my tablecloth from Denver Fabrics where for less than 5 bucks a yard, you can cover your less than perfect picnic table in vintage style. No sewing, no hemming and certainly no hawing required.

It makes every party seem more festive and when I’m done? All I have to do is hose it off. After four years with my 4 yards of oilcloth covering the table, there’s some very minor fading. But it looks even more authentic.

Plus, if you tire of it, you can always turn it into a bib, a shopping bag or a very stylish apron.

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Chill Beverages Quickly

For May, I’m giving you one warm-weather entertaining tip every day.

It might be a drink recipe, may be a way not to burn the backs of your thighs on a lawn chair, maybe even a reprint of some old summertime recipes.

Today, I’d like to start with the tip from the Mythbusters, from their “How to Chill Beverages the Fastest” segment.

The way we do it for bocce, is to fill the bottom of the cooler 1/3 full with water, add approximately one cup of rock salt or table salt and stir.

Fill the rest of the cooler with ice and stir some more before plunging your otherwise tepid beverages into the mix.

The salted water keeps the drinks colder than they would be otherwise.
The salty water keeps ‘em real cold.
And James likes ‘em real cold.

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