HJ Burgers

This has been posted in the rarely updated Chow section for years, but it was important to bubble up to the home page. I actually got the job at Sutter Home because I included this in my portfolio.

Tonight for dinner, we ate burgers made just from regular hamburger and although he wouldn’t say anything, I could tell James was kind of bummed. Double the recipe and freeze them and you won’t have to disappoint your partner in the hamburger department ever again.

1 pound good ground beef
(good means you’ve ground it yourself or you’ve bought some sort of trustworthy organic beef from your butcher. I mean it.)
4 Italian sausage links.
(hot, mild, whatever you feel like dangling from your neck)
1 piece of dry/oldish bread
1 beaten egg
2 tsp garlic salt
2 tsp pepper
1 stick butter
6 Kaiser rolls
Hamburger fixins

Equipment
Blender/food processor
Two clean hands

Put one piece of slightly dry bread into the food processor or blender. Grind that piece up until it’s screaming for mercy.
It should render about 1/4 cup of bread crumbs.

Liberate the sausage from its linky goodness by slicing down one side of the sausage and scooping out the ground pork within.

Slap the hamburger down on the cutting board.
Slap the pork sausage onto the hamburger.
Sprinkle with bread crumbs.
Sprinkle the bread crumbs with the garlic salt and pepper.
Pour about a half of the egg mixture on top and get to mushing.

While mushing the hamburger, sing this Mushy song.

“Mush, mush mush.
Mush mush mush.
About this burger they will gush.
Mush mush mush.

“Mush, mush mush.
Mush mush mush.
On this burger they will crush.
Mush mush mush.

“Mush, mush mush.
Mush mush mush.
So damn tasty I could blush.
Mush mush mush.”

Then scoop the burger into snowball sized balls.

Now comes the part you absolutely cannot tell your friends about or they will be grossed out and not eat the delicious burgers.

Put a pat of butter in the middle of each snowball. Now flatten them into burger patty shapes and wrap up to chill in the refrigerator until you’re ready to grill.

I can’t offer much in the way of grilling suggestions, as that’s the husband’s department, but these are–if it’s even possible–even tastier with cheese.

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