It may have been the fact that James wasn’t there and I was able to choose without consulting someone else.

It may have been my first trip anywhere alone since the baby was born.

It may have been the panels I saw. I enjoyed the panel from Behance thoroughly. Their lovely little Action Method has lots of sound project management tips. And although I shifted in my seat, Zeldman’s panel had me pumping my fist in the air, saying, “MY WORK IS WORTH MORE.”

And although I originally went to the panel called Quitter to support internet friends and heroes Freitas, Mason, Sacca and Mayes, I learned from Chris to define success for myself.

“Ask yourself what success is to you.”

Right up until this trip, I worked every awake minute, taking every job that crossed my path.
I worked endlessly, billing hours at all hours of the day and night, continually falling apart.
I completed tasks way outside the scope, allowing project scope creep to take time from my daughter, my husband and my sanity.

Thanks to that simple direction, I have a more realistic framework for what I want.

And since quality of daughter-time factors into my definition of success, it is important to work that into my plan.

Same with
money
house
love
time alone and
free time.

I’ve turned down three projects this week. There are people I really, really want to help out, but quite frankly, helping them gets me no closer to my goals. All it does is get my time to them indebted, in a way that just pisses them off, pisses ME off. This helpfulness gets me no closer to what’s really important to me. I’ve angered more people in the past three years by undercharging and over promising than even I’m aware of.

So instead, I’m saying
No.
I’m saying
I’m full up until June.
Because
1. I am.
2. It’s time.

What? This seems like such an easy decision to make. But I’ve really struggled with just wanting to help my friends out. I mean, they need a web site, right? They could use email newsletter design, a presence on Facebook, a logo, a…

That’s exactly it.
It never ends.
There’s always something else I could do for you.
But online, it’s never a second. It’s always.
And now it’s “Not until June.”

I’m finally valuing my time.
It feels great.
It’s entirely different over here.